I

This poem berates my father for cursing me with a lack of hair (I feel no ill will in reality). I tried my best to emulate the style of Catullus’ invective poems.

Mendax, o pater, es quidem nocesque.
Me natum Stephanumque nominasti.
Sed ex nomine vile foedus ortum,
Quo saeve male filio fideli
Non donum nitidum aureum dedisti.
Nunc fulgens aliquidque adhuc adhaeret,
At glabrum caput usque pro corona.

Meter: Hendecasyllables

Translation: You are a liar, father, and you even do me harm. You called me your son, Stefan, the crowned one. But from the name, a vile pact did arise, in which you savagely and wickedly denied a shining golden gift to your faithful son. Now something shining does still cling, yet it is a continuously bald head instead of a crown.

II

Lingua Latina
Non decet his numeris
Ne scribito hos sic.

Metrical Haiku

Translation: The Latin language is not proper for these meters, so don’t write them this way.